you traded sex for a burrito?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
