But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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