The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
