I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's shark week go big or go home
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
