oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
