You're earring is so big in my mouth
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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