i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
