Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm getting married
To pizza
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
