i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
