Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
