Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
