So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize