fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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