The maid of honor just puked.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
