i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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