Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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