my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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