SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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