How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
