but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
