somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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