why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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