i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
