So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
