FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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