Is it because I queefed?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
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I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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