Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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