I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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