i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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