I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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