Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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