Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
im holly from the hills drunk
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If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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