You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
