you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
