dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you traded sex for a burrito?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
