is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
