I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
