You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
