I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
