Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
