Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This baby is an asshole
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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