My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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