they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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