im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
