Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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