GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
