I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
