They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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