I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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