it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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