She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
