Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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