uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
In America we eat man semen.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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