Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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