You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
